


Jimmy Olsen: Rent Boy

by suzvoy



Category: Smallville
Genre: Futurefic, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-11-08
Updated: 2004-11-08
Packaged: 2017-11-01 07:47:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/353942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suzvoy/pseuds/suzvoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jimmy gets a phone call he never expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jimmy Olsen: Rent Boy

## Jimmy Olsen: Rent Boy

by Suz

<http://sjhw.net/suzvoy/svfic.html>

* * *

Many thanks to nel and saf. _mwa_ _smooch_

Feedback would rocketh. 

* * *

Jimmy's Tuesday morning turned officially _weird_ when he heard the words he'd never expected _anyone_ to say. 

"Hey, Jimmy, I've got Lex Luthor on line two for you." 

There were a few things that were wrong with that sentence, but the most blindingly obvious one was that it even existed. 

For a start, there was the fact that it was anyone other than Mom. He didn't have his own desk or phone at the Planet, so when she did call she usually used Lois' extension. Jimmy'd pleaded with her more than once to call CK's line, but then she'd go on about how Lois was making a statement for women everywhere (maybe just by existing, Jimmy was never quite sure). Whenever that happened he'd suddenly remember a non-existant appointment because Lois would be staring at him _the whole time_ , and he really didn't want her to figure out that she was the subject of Mom's biggest ever girl-crush. 

Then there was the fact that Lex Luthor was calling him at all. If Luthor was a great white shark, Jimmy wasn't even a minnow. 

Maybe the plankton. 

Lex Luthor shouldn't have even been aware of his existance, but there he apparently was. On the phone. Waiting for Jimmy. Jimmy Olsen. 

"You moving anytime soon, coma boy?" 

Realising Ralph had spoken again, Jimmy managed to get this feet started and crossed the bullpen. "What does Lex Luthor want with _me_?" he asked, realising he sounded kinda stupid, but hey, he had every reason to feel unhinged right now. 

"Maybe he likes your work," Ralph shrugged, then laughed out loud as if the idea was pant-wettingly funny. 

Saving the glare for Ralph's back as the reporter walked away, Jimmy sent a silent prayer than Perry would suddenly decide to assign Ralph to swampy parts of Timbuktu. 

Finally eyeing the desk - it was CK's, but he was out on a story with Lois - Jimmy decided to stop delaying the inevitable, picked up the phone, and pressed the button for line two. "Hello?" 

"Mr Olsen?" 

Jimmy came _this_ close to looking around for his dad. "Mr Luthor?" 

"That's right." The voice was warm, cultured; everything Jimmy had heard on TV and in the few speeches he'd covered with Lois and CK. "Thank you for taking my call." 

_Thank you for taking my call_? "Uh...you're welcome. Is there something I can help you with, Mr Luthor?" 

"Hopefully, yes. I've been very impressed with your work, Mr Olsen, and Clark has spoken highly of you as a person." 

Dumbfounded, Jimmy could do nothing else but keep hanging on to the phone - which was convenient, really. CK had talked about him with Luthor? Sure, he knew CK and Luthor were friends, but it'd never even occurred to him that the subject of Jimmy Olsen would crop up. 

But then Jimmy had no idea what they'd talk about anyway. The latest news seemed a given, but beyond that? No idea. They were so different from each other that Jimmy couldn't even think of any interests they shared. They were rarely seen in public together, and CK didn't like talking about Lex at work - unless it was for a story - as if he was somehow betraying his trust. 

Realising that he'd just been paid a compliment by pretty much the most influential man in Metropolis, Jimmy figured he should say something. "Thank you. Mr Luthor." 

"In fact," Luthor continued, "I was wondering if you'd like to work on a freelance project for me." 

Jimmy's first instinct was to shout YES! God knew he could use the money - even sharing a place with two other people, he was barely scraping by - but then his cynicism crept in. 

No doubt Lois' influence. 

This was _Lex Luthor_. And though he knew CK would never stay friends with anyone corrupt, Luthor's world was filled with shades of grey. He had to be careful. "What kind of work?" He suddenly wondered if the phone was bugged. 

"Nothing unusual, I assure you," Lex chuckled, obviously hearing the suspicion in his tone. "Look, if you're able, why don't you come and see me during your lunch break? I'd prefer to discuss the details in person." 

Jimmy considered his options. At the very least he had to find out what Luthor was up to, for CK's sake. 

Yes, that was it. He was taking this job in the name of friendship. 

"Okay." 

* * *

It never took long to get to the old LuthorCorp - now LexCorp - building from the Daily Planet. They were right next to each other. 

So, having barely started his lunch break, Jimmy found himself standing at reception in LexCorp almost immediately. 

"Hi, my name's Jimmy Olsen. I'm here to see Mr Luthor." 

"Of course," the receptionist smiled. "Mr Luthor's expecting you. I just need to get you to sign in for me..." 

Taking the pen she offered, he began filling in his details. 

Name: James Olsen 

Company: Daily Planet 

Visiting: Lex Luthor 

As he wrote out his signature, Jimmy was really glad there was no 'reason for visit' box, because he'd have absolutely no idea what to put. 'I think he may be up to something and plus I really need the money' would just look bad. 

Not to mention sound a lot like prostitution. 

Passing back the pen, he tried to ignore the image of Jimmy Olsen: Rent Boy as he was given a visitor's pass, directed towards the elevators, and told what floor Lex's office was on. 

Clutching his camera protectively to his chest - he'd brought it along just in case - Jimmy followed a group of people into the first available elevator. Somehow he ended up in the middle of them and, unable to reach the buttons, had to ask someone near the front to press the button for his floor. 

By the time he reached his destination, he was the only one left. Having had the chance to watch everyone walk out and away from the elevator, Jimmy had definitely decided that in the jeans and plain t-shirt he always wore to work, he was severely under-dressed. 

"Mr Olsen?" 

Starting when he realised the man just outside the door wasn't waiting for the elevator so much as he was waiting for _him_ , Jimmy cleared his throat. "Yes?" 

The man - was that Armani? - smiled broadly. "Mr Luthor's waiting for you. This way, please." 

Jimmy followed along, and a few dozen corner turns later, the man knocked on a door and immediately opened it without waiting for a response. 

"Mr Olsen, sir," the man announced, keeping a hand on the door handle as he stepped in ahead of Jimmy, and then turned back towards him to indicate that he should follow. 

"Yes, yes. Excellent. Please come in," Luthor replied, smiling and standing up from behind his desk. 

The door clicked shut behind him, and Jimmy was alone in the room with Lex Luthor before he even realised what'd happened. 

Luthor was still smiling as he approached. Jimmy had seen Gladiator eight and a-half times, and couldn't help wondering if this was what Russell Crowe felt like when he'd been thrown in with the lions. 

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Luthor said cheerfully, extending his hand. 

Extracting one of his own hands from the death grip on his camera, Jimmy met it. "You too, Mr Luthor." 

Releasing his grip, Luthor nodded before turning away, gesturing towards the chair on the nearest side of the desk. "Please, take a seat. Would you like a drink?" 

Shaking his head, Jimmy approached the chair even as Luthor headed back to his own. "I'm fine, thank you." 

During the short journey, Jimmy took the opportunity to look around the office. It was well furnished and attractively designed, and though it sure didn't look cheap it also didn't look as ridiculously expensive as he'd expected. 

Sitting behind the desk already as Jimmy fell into his seat, Luthor sat back and kept smiling. "I want to thank you for agreeing to see me on such short notice. I'm sure working at the Planet must keep you busy." 

Deciding to take a page out of Lois' book - she'd never let anyone intimidate her - Jimmy forced himself to at least _look_ relaxed. "Well," he shrugged, "it was either this or arguing with the hot dog vendor I go to for lunch about food poisoning." 

Amused, Luthor laughed. "I can see why Clark likes you." Shifting in his chair he leant forward, suddenly intense, and changed subjects. "I'm sure you're wondering why I asked you here." 

Jimmy nodded. 

"I meant what I said before," Luthor continued. "Your work is very good for someone so young. You obviously have a natural gift." Jimmy didn't have time to say anything at all before Luthor spoke again. "Your pictures of Superman in particular are extremely...memorable." 

Jimmy wouldn't have been surprised if a light bulb had actually appeared over his head. "That could have something to do with the subject," he replied carefully, trying to speak with dry humour (though he suspected he just sounded stupid). 

Luthor's fascination with Superman was well documented. In fact, to Jimmy at least, sometimes Luthor seemed almost...protective, of him. 

Which was so ridiculous. 

What on Earth did Superman need protecting from? 

"Possibly," Luthor replied, smirking. "But Superman has nothing to do with this. I want you to take some pictures." 

Jimmy waited. Maybe leaned forward in his seat slightly. 

"Of Clark." 

Oh. 

Jimmy slumped back. 

"Without him knowing." 

_Oh_. 

Jimmy sat forward again. 

But...but...that just made _no_ sense. "I don't understand." Luthor and CK were friends, why would he want secret pictures of his friend? There were lots of pictures of CK available already, why would he want more? 

Unless...unless Luthor had been lying to CK this whole time, and this was all part of some dirty scheme to- 

"It's for his birthday." 

-get him a birthday present. 

That was right: CK's birthday was coming up in the next few weeks. He really had to get him something... 

"That's sweet," Jimmy said, then really wished he hadn't. If it hadn't been for the sentimental value and the cost of replacing it, he would have smashed the camera against his head. Calling Lex Luthor _sweet_? Probably not something anyone had done before. 

Ever. 

"You know," Luthor lifted an eyebrow, "I argue against that when Clark says it; I certainly can't let you get away with saying it either." 

CK called Luthor sweet? 

But then he was CK. Of course he would. He called Lois sweet sometimes. And actually meant it. 

Dismissing the current topic again, Luthor got straight back to business. "So, are you interested, Mr Olsen?" 

Jimmy had to admit that he was. 

"Good," Luthor smiled. "Let's discuss your fee." 

* * *

CK was not an easy guy to sneakily take a picture of. It was like he was part-bloodhound or had spider-sense or something. The moment Jimmy even started pointing his camera in CK's general direction, his friend would turn as if knowing that someone was looking at him. 

More than once Jimmy had been forced to pretend that he'd been intending to raise his hand in greeting and say an extremely dorkish, "Hi, CK!" 

Luthor had been very specific about his requirements; or rather, where the pictures were to be taken. Only at the Daily Planet. Nowhere else. He didn't want to distract CK while he was working on a story outside the office. 

"And most importantly," Luthor had continued, "under no circumstances are you to intrude on Clark's private life. He guards his privacy very carefully, and I want to protect that. That's why I came to you for this, Jimmy." That had been the one and only time he'd used Jimmy's first name. "You're his friend. I know he finds you trustworthy." 

Jimmy was _so_ trustworthy that, two days later, he was stalking CK's apartment. 

It wasn't his fault. It really wasn't. It was just that at the Planet CK seemed to be aware of everything, _all the time_. 

It was really annoying. 

And heck, by this point he didn't even care if Luthor paid him or not, he just wanted to get the damn pictures done. 

He'd originally planned to follow CK after work, see if he could get a few shots during CK's commute home but he'd lost track of him almost instantly. He could have sworn that one moment CK had been there and the next he'd been gone, but then the street _had_ been pretty crowded. 

So here he was. Sitting in his hunk of junk that just about passed for a car, sucking on a tootsie pop as he waited for CK to come home. 

There was a loud whooshing noise suddenly; the kind of noise Superman made when he was flying by. Winding down his window, Jimmy looked up but didn't see a thing. 

When he looked back across the street, CK was a few feet away from the steps to his apartment building. 

Lex was walking with him. 

Sensing his opportunity, Jimmy grabbed his camera off the passenger seat, and opened the car door. The two guys seemed to be having a good time and laughing a lot, so Jimmy managed to close the door without raising their attention. 

A few moments later they were up the steps and opening the door to the building. 

Checking for traffic, Jimmy quickly sneaked across the road and ran up the steps, managing to catch the door before it locked him out. 

Trying to breathe quietly - this was _fun_ \- Jimmy let the door close behind him as it would normally, and inched his way further into the building. 

Peering into the foyer, he saw CK and Lex were just stepping into the single elevator, CK saying something about Lex not getting enough exercise, and then Lex said something about CK being able to take care of that, which didn't seem to make much sense. 

Still, it didn't matter right now. Jimmy had been to CK's place plenty of times, and the moment the elevator doors shut he was moving through the foyer, opening the door that led to the stairs. 

CK's apartment was on the third floor, but the building was pretty old so the elevator took a while. Grabbing onto the railing with his free hand, Jimmy practically hauled himself up the stairs, pulling his weight up when he wasn't running, _really_ pleased that he'd been working out more lately (and not just because Jessica said it made his butt look good). 

Finally reaching the third floor, Jimmy sucked in a few huge breaths, trying to get back to normal, and then carefully pried the door open an inch. He was pretty sure that from here he'd have a good view of the door to CK's apartment, and he was proven right straight away. 

CK had the key to his apartment in his hand and was opening the door. Lex was standing behind him. 

Right behind him. As in pressed up against him. 

Jimmy frowned. 

"What's taking so long?" Lex asked. 

CK was apparently having trouble with the door. "Maybe it's the fact that you have your hand on my ass." 

Jimmy gawked. Either they were _really_ close, really touchy-feely friends, or... 

"Oh, I'm sorry," Lex continued, not sounding sorry at all as his body shifted and he apparently reached around CK to grab something else. "Is that better?" 

The keys CK had been failing to use suddenly clanked to the floor, and his whole body slumped forward, his head pressing against the apartment door. "Jeeeesussss..." 

Jimmy's mind started screaming, though he wasn't sure what. It was either 'My EYES! My EYES!' or 'Holy shit!'. 

His instincts took over. Lifting up his camera, he started taking pictures. 

They didn't stay the way they were for very long; there was a sudden twisting movement and suddenly CK was pressing Lex's back against the door, kissing him senseless. 

"You're staying the whole night," CK panted. 

Jimmy was not getting hard. 

"I have an early meeting tomorrow..." Lex said through kiss-bruised lips. 

He really wasn't. 

"What if I promise you get a alien-assisted flight straight to your office?" 

Jimmy wrinkled his nose. CK used Superman to ferry his lover around the city? That really didn't sound- 

Lover. 

CK and Lex Luthor were lovers. 

His _friend_ and Lex Luthor were lovers. 

How long had this been going on? Was it just sex? Were they in love? Did this mean CK was bi? Because Jimmy knew there'd definitely been women in his-shit, what the hell was he doing?! 

Suddenly freaking at the _wrongness_ of spying on them like this, Jimmy yanked his camera down and quietly shut the door. 

He was going home. 

And then he was calling Jessica. 

And then he was getting laid. 

* * *

From the looks of things, Lex Luthor's Friday afternoon took it's own weird turn when Jimmy said the thing neither of them had ever expected him to say. 

"I don't want any money for these." 

Sitting in the seat across from Lex, Jimmy was still holding onto the folder that held the photographs. 

Luthor frowned, obviously confused. "Everybody wants something, Mr Olsen." 

And yeah, Jimmy knew _exactly_ what it was that Luthor wanted. Saw it in his head every time he looked at Clark. "Just tell me what these are for," he said, jostling the folder in his hands. 

Studying him for a few moments, Luthor eventually moved, pulling a large book out of one of the drawers in his desk. It was obviously a photo album. Laying it down on the table, he turned it right way up for Jimmy and pushed it across the glass surface. 

Intrigued, Jimmy sat at the edge of his seat. Keeping the folder of photos pressed towards his chest with one hand, he used the other to go through the album. 

Clark's parents were on the first few pages. Separately, then together, and from the looks of things they had no idea the pictures were being taken. It was the same thing throughout the rest of the album; all the people Clark cared about, completely unknowing. 

His parents, Jimmy, Lois, Perry, and a few people Jimmy didn't recognise but figured were probably from Smallville. Lex had hired someone else to take these, but it was obvious why he'd come to Jimmy to take the pictures of Clark - he couldn't risk anyone else, in case they saw something they shouldn't have. 

He seriously doubted Lex had intended for Jimmy to find out, but now that he did know, Jimmy was going to do everything in his power to keep Clark's secret. For whatever reason they wanted to keep their relationship private, and Jimmy would never do anything to risk that. 

"Clark doesn't like it when things are false," Lex frowned. "Fabricated. I thought I'd just try to show that life can still be..." 

"Real?" 

Lex nodded. 

The folder was hot against Jimmy's hand. 

Standing up, he placed it on the table. "There were no pictures of you in the photo album," Jimmy began, meeting Lex's gaze. "I think this will take care of that." 

Lex frowned. 

Jimmy smiled. 

And left the office as Lex opened the folder. 

**~FINIS**


End file.
